Look Out I'm Parenting Here! Getting Through The Day Chapter 5: The Pick-Up (Part 3)

Look Out I'm Parenting Here! Getting Through The Day Chapter 5: The Pick-Up (Part 3)
Full episode: Look Out I'm Parenting Here! (Part Two): The Pick-Up

Accent the positives, avoid the negatives

"Inevitably there will be times when things do not go as well as you may have wanted at daycare" writes Ted. Think about it like this, do things ever go 100% well at home? The answer should be a resounding no...but that's ok. At this stage in the game its to be expected. However, it's not about how many times your child misbehaves, it's about how you react and handle it afterwards.

"What will mom think..."

Let's prepare for the scenario where your child's teacher or daycare provider brings you some bad news. Little Johnny threw a toy and Timmy's head. In Ted's eyes, you should take the caregiver/teacher's word for it. Hopefully they value truth and would not lie to you about something like that. Honestly, most of the time, there is no reason for a caregiver to give you bad information. On the flip side, a toddler is going to have an incentive to not want to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. They are going to have a fear of the punishment that will be served if you find out what happened. This is why Ted states one of the biggest errors we make is trusting a child over an adult's word. Adults can lie too, but in a situation where you have an adult that wants the best for their group and wants to keep you as a customer, its not as likely to happen

I know I know, it wasn't you, it was the rubber band..

The best thing to do in a situation like this is to go about the process of packing up, saying your farewells, and heading back home. There will be an urge to handle the situation right then and there, in an effort to prove you are not an incompetent parent. Keep your emotions in check though. If anything, take the car ride home to think about the situation and the best course of action. During this time you can keep the focus on positive things that happened during the day. When you get home, you can bring up the feedback from the daycare provider. It will be important for the toddler to learn that there are consequences to things they do, and because the event happened in the past, does not make it less wrong. Remember, let cooler heads prevail. Your children will eventually take notice of how you did not get overtly furious and still were able to teach them a lesson from all this. Don't get bent out of shape with negative feedback, it will be addressed, but remember to be highlight the positives of the day, avoid the negatives.